Closeness can
feel different
Maybe you’re used to keeping the peace, asking for less, keeping others at arms length, or staying one step ahead of rejection. You want to feel connected without it feeling like work.
I offer therapy where we can explore those patterns together—and make room for new experiences of trust, care, and being yourself in all types of relationships.
Michelle Gross, LMHC-D, AEDP 2
She/Her
What we might work on together
Attachment & Relationships
Wanting closeness while expecting hurt, or feeling safer without it. Finding it hard to ask for what you need, trust someone, let others get close, or stay present through conflict. When care has felt inconsistent, intrusive, unsafe, or out of reach, relationships can become complicated. You might long for closeness while bracing for rejection, or feel most secure when you are self-reliant and no one expects too much from you. You may pull away when relationships deepen, minimize your needs, shut down during conflict, or struggle to trust that depending on someone will not lead to disappointment or a loss of freedom. These patterns often began as intelligent ways of protecting yourself. In therapy, we’ll approach them with curiosity and compassion. They are responses that make sense in the context of what you have experienced. Using a relational, AEDP-informed approach, we won’t only talk about your relationships from a distance. We’ll pay attention to what happens between us in real time, including moments when closeness feels comforting, uncomfortable, or like too much. Therapy becomes a space to practice honesty, vulnerability, boundaries, rupture, and repair at a pace that respects your protective instincts. So much of our wounding happens in relationships, and so does our healing. Over time, you can experience connection that does not require you to lose yourself, silence your needs, or remain guarded. Together, we can help you build greater freedom and security in your relationship with yourself and the people you love.
Trauma & Overwhelm
Feeling on guard, shutting down, or carrying experiences that still shape how you respond to yourself and other people. Trauma can come from a single overwhelming event or from experiences that unfolded over time, including abuse, neglect, religious harm, relational trauma, or identity-based marginalization. You might feel constantly alert, become overwhelmed easily, disconnect from your emotions, or go numb when something feels like too much. Even when you know you are safe, your body may respond as though the danger is still happening. These responses are not signs that something is wrong with you. They are ways your mind and body learned to protect you when you did not have enough safety, support, or choice. We’ll work with these patterns gently and at a pace that helps you remain grounded and in control. Drawing from AEDP and somatic approaches, I’ll help you notice what is happening in your body, understand your emotional responses, and gradually build your capacity to stay present with difficult experiences. You will not be pushed to recount painful memories before you feel ready. Our work centers safety, agency, and the experience of not having to face overwhelming emotions alone. Over time, emotions like anger, fear, grief, and sadness can become more tolerable, and more understandable. Rather than trying to suppress them or be consumed by them, you can learn to recognize what they are communicating, move through them with support, and respond with greater freedom in the present.
Shame, Identity, & Authenticity
Wanting to be known without having to edit yourself. Hiding parts of yourself to belong, feeling like you’re too much, or losing track of what you want. Shame can make belonging feel conditional. It tells you that you are too much, not enough, or somehow unacceptable. That being fully seen will lead to judgment or rejection. You might minimize your needs, monitor how others perceive you, or shape yourself around what feels safest or most acceptable. In therapy, we’ll meet shame with curiosity and compassion. We’ll explore how it developed and what it has been protecting. Beneath shame, we often find deeply human longings: to be understood, accepted, loved, and free to exist without performing for belonging. Our work can also create space to explore the identities, values, and experiences that have shaped you. This may include gender, sexuality, neurodivergence, disability, culture, race, class, spirituality, politics, or personal history. We’ll honor the complexity of who you are without forcing you into a fixed label or a simpler story. As trust grows between us, therapy becomes a place to practice being more fully yourself, and to experience being met with care rather than rejection. Over time, you can reconnect with your own wants, emotions, and inner sense of direction, building the self-trust to live with greater authenticity.
I also work with chronic blushing and the fear of blushing. Blushing can become much more than a physical response. You may find yourself monitoring your face, anticipating when it might happen, or avoiding attention, intimacy, conflict, public speaking, and other situations where you fear your reaction will be noticed. The effort to prevent or conceal blushing can create a painful cycle in which the fear of blushing makes it even more likely. Therapy offers a place to explore this experience without minimizing how disruptive it can be. Together, we can work with the anxiety, shame, self-consciousness, and fear of judgment that surround blushing while helping you feel more grounded when your body responds beyond your control. The goal is not to demand that your body never blush. It is to loosen the hold that blushing has on your choices, relationships, and sense of self so that being seen can feel less threatening and you can participate more freely in your life.